Kellyann Marie

On Imposter Syndrome and Self-Depricating.

I can climb a mountain in the Alps with everything I own on my bicycle, and staples in my knee.

I can move out as a teenager and make it on my own with a combo of sex work, restaurant work, meager art sales. I can pick up a $20 with my vagina, and several sugar daddies have taken me on vacation.

I even have a bachelors and a masters that I paid for myself.

Edwards, C. W. (2019). Overcoming imposter syndrome and stereotype threat: Reconceptualizing the definition of a scholar. Taboo: The Journal of Culture and Education, 18(1), 3.

I do not look, act, feel like an academic. I do not find others like me, and the farther I make it the less others around me resemble my experience. In my masters program I would frequently confront the way my siblings thought I was hoity-toity and my peers thought I was a white-trash clown (the duality of such a reality wringing out the rag on my insides from morning to night).

I found a special joy in affirming this truth. I do not mind a little tongue and cheek negative self talk, and I’m quite happy to be less than.

Everyone deserves to have a punching bag. I’d rather it be me than trans women of color.